The Power of the People Around Us
Almost ten years ago, I read People Fuel: Fill Your Tank for Life, Love, and Leadership by John Townsend. I didn’t know it at the time, but that book quietly kicked off a long journey of intentionality around who—and what—I allow to shape my energy, my growth, and my leadership.
What stayed with me wasn’t a single framework or checklist. It was the idea that the people around us either fuel us or drain us, and that we have more agency in that equation than we often realize.
That insight has stayed relevant through every season since—personally, professionally, and as a leader.
Loving People Doesn’t Mean Carrying Their Weight
Many of us—especially women—are wired to care deeply.
We love people.
We love solving problems.
We love being helpful.
And if we’re honest, that combination can get us into trouble.
Over the years, one of the biggest lessons has been learning the difference between supporting people and absorbing their problems. I’ve had to learn—sometimes the hard way—that I can take on emotional labor no one actually asked me to carry.
That work has been about boundaries:
- Boundaries with others
- Boundaries with my own tendencies
- Boundaries that protect energy, not walls that shut people out
Healthy boundaries aren’t about loving people less. They’re about loving ourselves—and our capacity—enough to stay present and grounded.
Energy Is a Pattern, Not a Mood
One of the ideas that continues to resonate is this:
The standard matters more than the exception.
We’re all human. Every relationship will have moments of frustration, fatigue, or challenge. That’s not the issue.
The question is:
- Is this relationship generally life-giving or draining?
- Does it tend to move us toward possibility—or toward stagnation?
- Do we leave feeling resourced, or depleted?
Energy is contagious. Over time, it shapes how we see the world.
You Don’t Change in Isolation
There’s a quote that’s floated around for years:
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Whether or not we take that literally, the underlying truth holds.
Change is rarely a solo act.
A Season of Shedding
Over the past year, this awareness has deepened even more for me. I’ve been reflecting on the symbolism of the “year of the snake”—the idea of shedding what no longer fits.
This hasn’t been about exclusion. It’s been about alignment.
Why Community Matters So Much Right Now
This is one of the reasons we’re launching the Momentum Circle this spring.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do for ourselves is change who we’re in conversation with.
A Gentle Invitation
The people around us shape more than our schedules. They shape our nervous systems, our expectations, and our sense of what’s possible.
And choosing differently isn’t a betrayal of who we’ve been.
It’s an act of care for who we’re becoming.
